What is De-Escalation?

I’m working on a 5-minute training on de-escalation for people new to the concept. 

I thought I would try the concept out on y’all!

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When someone is rude to you or refuses to follow the rules, most people naturally lean towards one of two responses:

1. “Fight Back” – Treat the person the way they are treating you.  Show them who’s boss!
2. “Give Up” – Let them break the rules or treat you poorly.  Avoid dealing with them as much as possible.

Take a second and decide which one you naturally are.

Now, let’s look at pros and cons of each.

FIGHT BACK

Pros:

• Sometimes it stops the rudeness or rule-breaking.
• It doesn’t feel like weakness.

Cons:

• It frequently escalates conflict.
• The situation often turns into a shouting match. 
• It can even be dangerous.

GIVE UP

Pros:

• It avoids conflict and a potential scene (at least for today).

Cons:

• It doesn’t stop the rudeness or rule-breaking.  In fact, it often makes it worse in the future.
• It feels like weakness.

Obviously neither of these are great strategies.

That leads us to a third option –  “De-Escalation.”

Using “de-escalation” you enforce your rules and stop rudeness, but in a way that simultaneously reduces conflict.

Pros:

• It usually stops the rudeness or rule-breaking.
• It usually avoids increased conflict.  It is the safest option.
• It doesn’t feel like weakness.
• It is the most compassionate approach when the other person is struggling with a mental health disorder.

Cons:

• It is a new skill that has to be learned (and practiced).
• You will likely be a little uncomfortable while you resist your natural urge to “fight back” or “give up.”

If you’re not using de-escalation to handle problematic behavior, I’m challenging you today to start.

Here’s what you need to focus on – “RULES with RESPECT”

RULES

• They can’t break the rules.
• They can’t treat you disrespectfully.
• You can’t ignore rule breaking or disrespectful behavior.

RESPECT

• You can approach and speak to them calmly and respectfully, EVEN WHEN the other person is not being calm or respectful to you.

Note:  You can remain calm and respectful throughout the conversation, even if you have to call law enforcement.

It is that simple.

It is not easy to do (because of your natural inclination to “fight back” or “give up”), but it is simple.

Have a fantastic week!

Peace,

Ryan