It seems to me that there should be explicit “levels” of kindness.
Since I couldn’t find any I liked, I made my own:
LEVEL 1 – Someone is kind to you, so you’re kind back.
Repaying kindness for kindness is easy.
It is quite common. In fact, many scholars argue convincingly that reciprocity is the foundation of culture and civilization.
LEVEL 2 – You are kind to someone who has not been kind to you, but they could in the future.
It’s not that hard to be kind to people who can help you later, and it pays off well.
LEVEL 3 – You are kind to someone that can likely never help you.
Are you kind to the busboy at a restaurant? What about a stranger in line at the grocery store?
Many people never make it to Level 3 kindness.
LEVEL 4 – You are kind to someone you will never meet.
If you’re in a restaurant bathroom and there are paper towels on the ground near the trashcan, do you use your paper towel to pick up the ones on the ground? If so, you just made a minimum-wage stranger’s life 0.01% better and it cost you nothing.
Level 4 kindness is quite rare.
LEVEL 5 – You are kind to someone, and it will cost you.
A lot of cultures have special words for outcasts: “Untouchables,” “Least of These,” “The Disinherited.”
Helping those who have been cast out is hard work, and doesn’t increase your social status. Often it decreases it.
Level 5 kindness is very rare.
It is the bedrock of the work to make a better world.
LEVEL 6 – You are kind to someone who has harmed you.
The highest form of kindness is to repay cruelty with kindness.
Important: To be clear, Level 6 kindness is NOT a call to allow someone to continue abusing you or others. It is primarily about how you treat someone that has previously harmed you but no longer can.
Level 6 kindness is exceptionally rare.
Occasionally it changes the trajectory of the entire world.
Before you go to sleep tonight, try to do one act of kindness at a level that makes you uncomfortable. “Level up” your kindness, so to speak.
If you aren’t ready for Level 5 or 6, I recommend Level 3 or 4.
Have a great week!
Ryan
