I love people.
When I ran a homeless shelter, I saw hundreds of thousands of acts of kindness. My heart has been forever warmed.
In my 46 times around the sun I have seen countless people help strangers simply because it is the right thing to do. Every time, my soul overflows with gratitude.
My favorite thing to do at a party is to get someone talking about whatever excites them, whether it is their children or vintage motorcycles. Their enthusiasm reminds me of the human spirit.
And… yet… sometimes…
Sometimes people say some “not-so-nice” things about other groups of people.
Here’s what happens when I hear someone make a prejudicial comment:
“Stop being a bigot,” the righteous-anger part of me wants to scream (especially if I am on Facebook!).
“Woah! Slow down there, little doggy!” says the part of me that is hopelessly—and unconditionally—in love with humanity.
“Most bigotry comes from ignorance, not malice,” says the part of me that actively chooses hope.
“Would you rather help this person grow or attack them?” asks the part of me that rejects the cynical worldview engulfing our culture.
“When you shame people for making a prejudicial comment, their prejudice actually increases,” adds the part of me that has read the research on prejudice.
Yup, you read that last sentence right:
- When you call someone racist, they become MORE racist.
- When you call someone sexist, they become MORE sexist.
- When you call someone homophobic, they become MORE homophobic.
- When you call someone transphobic, they become MORE transphobic.
- Etc.
Fortunately, there are other techniques that don’t increase prejudice.
In 2021, I created a training on science-based tools for responding to prejudicial comments.
Unfortunately, the training is just as relevant today as it was three years ago.
We are offering it, again (and for free this time!) to anyone who wants to learn how to more effectively handle prejudicial comments.
Have an epic day!
Peace,
Ryan
