Lead. Don’t follow.
Increasingly, I am learning that de-escalation is more about having the right mindset than having the right tools. Here’s a mindset shift related to de-escalation… Lead. Don’t Follow. In conflict, you want to LEAD the other person into the behavior you want from them, not FOLLOW them into the foolish things they’re doing. If you […]
The most important fact about Alzheimer’s disease
If you work with individuals suffering from Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia, there is something you need to know: Individuals suffering from dementia can read your nonverbal cues even when they struggle to understand the words you are saying. The biggest implication of this is that they will know if you show your frustration in […]
There are “levels” of kindness.
It seems to me that there should be explicit “levels” of kindness. Since I couldn’t find any I liked, I made my own: LEVEL 1 – Someone is kind to you, so you’re kind back. Repaying kindness for kindness is easy. It is quite common. In fact, many scholars argue convincingly that reciprocity is the […]
A tool for solving drama.
Last week’s email introduced the concept of personality disorders. You can read it here: https://www.homelesstraining.com/people-dont-call-them-mentally-ill-they-call-them-jerks/ This week I want to share a quick tool for managing the drama created by someone suffering from a personality disorder. It comes directly from Dr. Gregory Lester, who is this month’s webinar. If you want to watch my interview […]
Kindness heals… but it is asymmetrical
All Souls Have Wounds I have never met a person who didn’t have wounds on their soul. True, some souls have a few faded scars while others are crisscrossed with layers of gangrenous pain. But all souls have wounds. Kindness Heals Forgive my language, but the saying “Time heals all wounds” is bullshit. It is […]
There are no Saints.
There are only two types of people in this world: Type 1: Good People They are kind and patient. They volunteer at homeless shelters. They help little old ladies across the street and find lost cats. They watch documentaries, read the BBC, listen to NPR, drive the speed limit and cross the street at crosswalks. […]
Burnout and the rhythm of world “repair.”
Staff burnout rates at homeless shelters are high. I have seen people burn out in a matter of months. I have seen other people, though, happily work for decades. From my experience, the biggest difference between the two is the source of their purpose: Thought Exercise: Addictions Counselor Imagine that it is your job to […]
If you don’t understand TBI, you don’t understand homelessness.
53% of chronically homeless individuals suffer from a traumatic brain injury (TBI). That is nearly five times the rate for the general population. A TBI is caused by a blow to the head. It is commonly caused by a car accident, sports, war or violence. The symptoms vary wildly, depending on which part of the […]
It’s time to confess.
One of these stories is exciting. The other is helpful. Story #1 I had a knife pulled on me when I was 21. The guy was a year older than me and had the muscles of someone recently out of prison (because he was, in fact, recently out of prison). I didn’t handle it perfectly, […]
He looks scary.
I got this question recently: We serve a man who “looks” homeless. He wears a vest (without a shirt underneath when it is hot outside). He has never caused any issues, but many staff and volunteers have said they are afraid of him because he “looks scary.” Here is my answer: It is interesting that […]
