Should libraries hire social workers?
“Should our library hire a social worker to help with issues we can’t help with like mental health, housing assistance, etc.?” Library managers ask me this A LOT. Over the years, libraries have been transformed into community centers. It’s natural that the most vulnerable in the community seek out libraries for help with tough questions. […]
How do I balance kindness and strength?
Dear Ryan, How do I be kind without coming across as gullible, weak, or as a pushover? How do I find the right balance? Mike Mike, I think you are asking the wrong question. You don’t “balance” kindness and strength. They aren’t opposites. The key is to be both fully “kind” and fully “firm” at […]
“Old man Jenkins is drunk and swinging on people.”
It was 9:00 pm in the second largest homeless shelter in Illinois. The only employees were me and Chris, who was brand new. It was a quiet night with a relatively low number of residents in the shelter (“only” 150 or so). A resident (a middle-aged Hispanic man with a handlebar mustache) approached Chris and […]
Jack the Jerk?
It was early in the pandemic. I had been living at the shelter for about a month. The shelter had an outbreak. I didn’t want to bring it home to my immunocompromised wife. It was 3:00 in the morning and I was in a deep sleep. I had worked 12-18 hour days for 30 straight […]
My heart grew two sizes
Last month we hosted the “Pennies in the Cup” 28-day challenge where we committed to preventing conflict with the vulnerable folks we serve. I was blown away by the number of folks who signed up for the Challenge: There’s one story in particular that I want to share with you because it embodies “Pennies in […]
“Get a job, bum!” someone screamed from a passing car.
Jake carried six bags of crushed aluminum cans down a busy street. He wasn’t walking very fast. The bags were heavy and tearing in several places. “Get a job, bum!” someone screamed from a passing car. Jake kept his head down and continued walking. He didn’t want a confrontation. Eventually, Jake reached the recycling center. […]
When is a question not a question?
I was coming back from the hospital cafeteria when the nurse stopped me in the hall. “And how are YOU doing?” she asked me. I just stared at her. I had been suppressing my emotions for several weeks. I genuinely didn’t know. We were in a large hospital in New York City. I had been […]
How do I prevent conflict?
Jerome strolled into the shelter for lunch. He was NOT staggering or swerving. He was NOT slurring his speech. He WAS sober. That didn’t happen too often. It was time to get some pennies!!!! I would need them next time Jerome was not sober. Pennies in the Cup In last week’s email we talked about […]
The problem with “Conflict De-escalation”
It was one of the hardest de-escalation situations I’ve ever been in. The man was 55ish with a long ZZ Top beard. He had the lean body of someone who had spent the last 25 years in prison lifting weights. Because he had. He had only been on the “outside” for a week and he […]
Someone is stealing donations.
Dear Ryan, I work at a transitional housing program for individuals leaving incarceration. We have a closet where we keep donated items (toiletries, clothing, etc.). Lately, a lot of the donated items have gone missing. None of the residents will admit to taking them. What do we do? Kate Kate, So, here’s the thing about […]
