Blame the Clothes
As a college student, I did laundry as infrequently as I could get away with. Disclaimer: I generally wore clean clothes, but that meant I frequently was down to an empty closet before I headed to the laundromat. I only remember it being a problem once. It was an unseasonably warm spring my sophomore year. […]
“If you don’t do something about Joe, we will!”
Mike didn’t look happy as he worked his way through the crowded shelter dining room heading towards me. Mike had been homeless for several years. I knew him well. I knew the conversation we were about to have wasn’t going to be pleasant. “If you don’t do something about Joe, we will,” Mike hissed at […]
The problem with de-escalation…
De-escalation has one MAJOR problem. The problem is NOT that it doesn’t work. The research is clear that de-escalation works: No, the problem with de-escalation isn’t its effectiveness. The problem is that someone has to go first. In conflict, someone has to go first… and lower their volume. Someone has to go first… and genuinely […]
“Please turn in police officers who behave badly.”
Howdy! Our next webinar is about how to handle police misconduct. There’s a twist, though… To avoid getting bogged down in an unhelpful culture war debate, I interviewed a Sheriff to find out what law enforcement recommends. In the interview, Sheriff Ron Hain of Kane County, Illinois offers a lot of nuance, but his basic […]
Lead. Don’t follow.
Increasingly, I am learning that de-escalation is more about having the right mindset than having the right tools. Here’s a mindset shift related to de-escalation… Lead. Don’t Follow. In conflict, you want to LEAD the other person into the behavior you want from them, not FOLLOW them into the foolish things they’re doing. If you […]
What is De-Escalation?
I’m working on a 5-minute training on de-escalation for people new to the concept. I thought I would try the concept out on y’all! —– When someone is rude to you or refuses to follow the rules, most people naturally lean towards one of two responses: Take a second and decide which one you naturally […]
If you don’t understand TBI, you don’t understand homelessness.
53% of chronically homeless individuals suffer from a traumatic brain injury (TBI). That is nearly five times the rate for the general population. A TBI is caused by a blow to the head. It is commonly caused by a car accident, sports, war or violence. The symptoms vary wildly, depending on which part of the […]
Stop telling your staff to be compassionate.
I love empathy. I’m a big fan of compassion. I think that professionalism is the bee’s knees. I also think that telling your staff to be empathetic, compassionate, and/or professional is REALLY bad advice. How to coach your staff to get better at de-escalation It is very natural to try to inspire your staff to […]
Alcohol and Violence
If you work with the public, there are two things you need to know about alcohol and violence… First: Alcohol is the most violent drug Most people—including law enforcement—think that “hard drugs” like meth are worse than alcohol. Nope. According to the data, alcohol is most closely associated with violence. That isn’t to say that […]
Rookie Mistake #72
I was Executive Director of a large homeless shelter outside of Chicago for nearly two decades. I kept a list of “Rookie Mistakes” (mistakes that new staff made that more experienced staff didn’t). Here is one of my favorites! Rookie Mistake #72: Not knowing when to shut up Situation: Mistake: Talking. I am amazed by […]
