“Excuses” vs. “Explanations”
Did you know… None of these are excuses for bad behavior, but they are all explanations for bad behavior. We can seek to understand the root cause of bad behavior without excusing bad behavior. If you understand why someone is behaving badly, it is MUCH easier to help them behave well than if you just write them off as […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps) – PART 3
This email is the final installment of my response to the question below. To read part 1, click HERE. To read part 2, click HERE. Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps) – PART 2
This email is part 2 (of 3) of my response to the question below. To read part 1, click HERE. Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. Honestly, though, I don’t know […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps).
I got the following email recently: Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. Honestly, though, I don’t know what to do, or even where to start. What advice do you have? Cynthia […]
Is there hope for “Everyday Sadists?”
People email me a lot asking how they should handle a staff person who enjoys enforcing the rules too much. It comes across as “picking on” people or “bullying” them. I tell them that their staff member is what psychologists call an “Everyday Sadist.” There isn’t really anything they can do to help the person […]
Everything you know about human trafficking is wrong.
“I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my […]
Fear
I have fears that I struggle to understand. Not the kind that slither across the trail. I have fears that I can’t put into words. Not the kind that jump into my throat during air turbulence. I have fears that my diary will never know. Not the kind that pushes on my chest when I […]
Christmas Eve in a Homeless Shelter
The following story is from my book “A Homeless Christmas Story” To see the illustrated version and hear it read by Actor Emilio Estevez, go to https://www.homelesstraining.com/books/a-homeless-christmas-story/ (if the URL doesn’t work, type it into your browser) Winter’s crisp darkness settled over the large, brick homeless shelter. Chicago winds whooshed snow across a frozen parking […]
Tiny Acts of Humanity
I try really hard to write original stuff for these weekly newsletters. Every once in awhile, though, someone captures my thoughts far more articulately than I ever could. This poem from Danusha Laméris expresses my feelings on “tiny acts of humanity” perfectly. What I call “pennies in the cup” she calls the “true dwelling of […]
De-escalating conflict is like typing without looking at your hands.
Can you type without looking at your hands? If not, this newsletter won’t be very helpful. Do you remember learning how to touch type? It was REALLY hard. First, someone had to teach you where to put your fingers. Then, you had to think about every single key very carefully (“’J’ is my right index […]
