Increasingly, I am learning that de-escalation is more about having the right mindset than having the right tools.
Here’s a mindset shift related to de-escalation…
Lead. Don’t Follow.
In conflict, you want to LEAD the other person into the behavior you want from them, not FOLLOW them into the foolish things they’re doing.
If you follow:
- They are loud. You follow them into loud.
- They are rude. You follow them into rude.
- They are frantic. You follow them into frantic.
If you lead:
- They are loud. You lead them to quiet.
- They are rude. You lead them to respectful.
- They are frantic. You lead them to calm.
Leading isn’t easy to do because your mind wants “reciprocity.”
Your mind wants to retaliate.
Your mind wants to escalate.
Your mind wants to follow!
Good luck!
Peace,
Ryan
