He’s not a jerk. He has a brain injury.

Just before COVID hit, I watched a guy (let’s call him “Tom”) ruin a group dinner my wife and I attended.

It started with a comment about not liking the food that was being cooked.

…Then a dirty joke…

…Then a sexual comment…

The rest of the dinner party became frustrated. Tom responded with, “What!? What did I do!?”

…Then the yelling started…

…It ended when Tom left and slammed the door before dinner was even on the table….

Sound familiar? Or like an experience you’ve had at work?

I later found out that Tom had several concussions in high school and college. He experienced a significant head injury while working construction once, as well.

Tom lives with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). He’s not alone, either:

12% of the general public suffer from TBI.

53% of people experiencing homelessness suffer from TBI.

As it turns out, TBI causes the following behaviors:

• Lower comprehension of rules (like Tom telling dirty jokes in front of the kids)
• Reduced capacity for empathy (like Tom saying he didn’t like the food a person was cooking)
• “Disinhibition” – the inability to suppress unwanted behavior (like Tom making sexual comments)
• Increased aggression (e.g. Tom yelling and slamming the door)

Furthermore, individuals suffering from TBI are often unaware of their symptoms.

You might find these types of behaviors (and the lack of awareness of them) INCREDIBLY frustrating. (Trust me, people suffering from TBI are frustrated too!)

The good news is, once you’re aware of TBI (and its effects), you can learn the skills to work with individuals struggling with it. The behaviors become MUCH less frustrating when you have a plan (and when you have compassion).