Not many people know this, but I took a “break” from homelessness in 2013.
I started an organization that assisted churches who were using nonviolent resistance against dictatorships.
I worked primarily in Zimbabwe.
The first time I went there I was arrested within an hour of arriving. That sucked.
The last time I was there I was interrogated by two Zimbabwean Central Intelligence agents. That really sucked.
In between, there are stories I can’t tell in an email that goes to over 70,000 people because my Zimbabwean colleagues could still get in trouble.
In the end, the organization wasn’t financially viable, and I had to shut it down.
It was probably the most frustrating event of my life.
I look back on that time, though, with equal parts excitement and residual terror.
For the last several years I have been a full-time “De-Escalation Teacher.”
As I get deeper and deeper into understanding conflict, I am struck by the similarities between de-escalation and non-violent resistance.
They don’t appear related, but they have the same philosophical core.
Nonviolent Resistance and De-Escalation are both “The Third Way.”
Nonviolent Resistance
There are a lot of people famous for nonviolent resistance:
- Mahatma Gandhi (India)
- Martin Luther King, Jr. (USA)
- Leymah Gbowee (Liberia)
In the face of human rights and democratic abuses, most people think they have two choices:
- Fight back – This is the way of violence.
- Give up – Ignore the abuse, keep your head down and cross your fingers that it doesn’t get worse.
Nonviolent resistance is the third way:
- Nonviolent resistance – Call out and actively resist abuse, but with a refusal to use violence.
De-Escalation
There are not a lot of people famous for de-escalation, but I have worked with hundreds of masters.
In the face of an individual breaking the rules or behaving poorly, most people think they have two choices:
- Fight back – If the person is yelling, you yell back.
- Give up – Avoid conflict by giving in to whatever the person wants.
De-Escalation is the third way:
- De-Escalation – Hold the person to the rules, but do so calmly and respectfully.
The Third Way
The Third Way is about refusing to give in to aggression, while also refusing to use aggression.
The Third Way is about using your own humanity to draw out the humanity in the “other side.”
The Third Way is about choosing hope over cynicism, even in the face of people calling you a fool… and thinking that they might be right.
The Third Way is ultimately about speaking truth:
- Nonviolent resistance is “speaking truth to power.”
- De-escalation is “speaking truth with power.”
The more deeply I reflect on both, the more I am struck by how often the answer is The Third Way.
Peace (and Justice),
Ryan
