I don’t like de-escalation.
I recently shared some of our trainings with a big company. Their employees are struggling with an increase in incidents related to homelessness. After we watched a video together, we had the following conversation: De-Escalation vs. Conflict Prevention Our approach to de-escalating conflict is 90% around preventing conflict in the first place. The other 10% […]
Most people would call Fred a jerk.
Fred lives in a homeless shelter I used to run. Most people would call Fred a jerk. He yells at people… a lot. He tells people when they have gained weight. He interrupts people when they are mid-sentence. He is moody. Fred is not a jerk. Fred suffers from traumatic brain injury (TBI). Traumatic Brain […]
The Migrant Crisis
When I was in my 30’s I took a couple years off from homelessness to work on other issues. For about a year I was the Executive Director of a nonprofit law firm for immigrants in Washington D.C. That experience taught me that my calling is homelessness. Perhaps just as importantly, I learned a lot […]
No one wants to yell at you.
When I ran the shelter, I was yelled at…A LOT… Sometimes first thing in the morning (before I was even awake). Sometimes in front of an audience (residents and my staff). Sometimes by people twice my size (and scary!). Next time someone is yelling at you, I want you to remember one thing. No one […]
“Excuses” vs. “Explanations”
Did you know… None of these are excuses for bad behavior, but they are all explanations for bad behavior. We can seek to understand the root cause of bad behavior without excusing bad behavior. If you understand why someone is behaving badly, it is MUCH easier to help them behave well than if you just write them off as […]
How do I handle repeat offenders?
Dear Ryan, I work at a coffee shop. There is a guy who lives in the woods nearby. Most days he will come in and buy a small coffee and sit around for a while. That is cool. What is not cool is that he keeps asking other customers for money. When we ask him […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps) – PART 3
This email is the final installment of my response to the question below. To read part 1, click HERE. To read part 2, click HERE. Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps) – PART 2
This email is part 2 (of 3) of my response to the question below. To read part 1, click HERE. Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. Honestly, though, I don’t know […]
How to save the world (in 5 steps).
I got the following email recently: Dear Ryan, I am a college student. I see so many problems in the world (homelessness, hunger, racism, etc.). I want to use my career and my life to help. Honestly, though, I don’t know what to do, or even where to start. What advice do you have? Cynthia […]
The problem is not what you think it is.
I am doing a training tomorrow for McDonald’s national security team. By the way, I’ve been working with McDonald’s for about a year, and I have been REALLY impressed with how committed they are to a compassionate approach to homelessness. In preparation for training their team, I was reviewing our old training on “How to […]
