Dear Ryan,
I answer the phones at a shelter. The problem is that our shelter is full.
I put people on our waitlist and provide them with information on other options (none of which are good).
Some people are “not very nice” to me when I tell them we are full. I’ve been cursed at, told I’m worthless, etc.
How should I handle those calls?
Thank you.
Katie
Katie,
Thank you for your service to the community. That isn’t easy.
A few thoughts come to my mind:
1. Accept that you can only do what you can do.
When we are holding onto our own guilt, someone else’s criticism hurts more.
2. Imagine how panicky you would be in their situation.
If I was homeless (or about to become so) and I worked up the courage to call the shelter, I would be VERY frustrated if I was told that there were no beds. I would also be terrified.
I am NOT saying that it is acceptable for people to take their frustrations out on you. What I am saying is that it is very human to do so.
3. Set boundaries.
Just because someone is frustrated or afraid doesn’t mean you have to take their abuse.
Strike 1: In a pleasant voice (that is key) say, “I totally understand your frustration. I will help you the best I can, but I can only do that if you can stop yelling.”
Strike 2: If they continue, say “I’m sorry, but if you aren’t able to speak to me politely, I will have to end the conversation.”
Strike 3: If they still continue, hang up. Make a note in case they try to report you to your supervisor (or HUD!).
4. Tell people about the panic, frustration, etc.
Those of us who have witnessed firsthand the human cost of a failed housing policy have an obligation to let others know.
Most people are completely unaware of how horrible it is to be homeless.
Tell your friends, family, policy-makers and anyone else who will listen about the terror in peoples’ voices when they become homeless.
Hang in there… doing the work of “world repair” is hard, but it is worthwhile.
Peace,
Ryan
